Granting Yourself A Treat
Imagine for a moment that it’s one of those special times when you’re suddenly
in charge of running the school for a day, you a ninth-grader who can finally have
your way on everything. You’ve always admired the school custodian and appoint
him assistant principal for the day. Your art teacher has shown little affection for
the science curriculum, so you have her take over from the physics teacher whom
you demote to custodian because you can’t bring yourself to say, “You’re fired.”
The math teacher, who’s grown old and fat, you do not have a crush on. She should
lead phys ed classes for a day—working out a little likely will not kill her. The
French teacher you’ll swap with the Spanish teacher. No matter; all languages are
foreign to you. You have other positions to fill, must act quickly before time goes
stale for making this place great again. The best athletes you’ll steal from elite
schools by offering scholarships you won’t ever end up paying. After firing the
school board (yes, you got the hang of it), you’ll grant yourself a treat by turning
one day into four years until you graduate as the best that ever was or will be.