I hereby go on record
in support of ground squirrels.
I endorse the mashing of potatoes.
I back banana slugs and egg-laying mammals.
I condone the use of violins, maintain
the right to bear arms, legs and a torso,
side with root rot, subscribe
to the theory that plankton exists.
I vote unilaterally for affection,
recommend equal action on tectonic plates
and will forever defend photosynthesis.
I demand saltwater.
I believe in tangerines, lemurs, blue-tail flies and fire.
I swear by all that is wholly original.
I advocate play and
I urge the immediate and irrevocable passage
of all universal laws, reasonable measures and natural acts.