Lies I Tell Myself
—Every morning the angels open up
my Facebook page to see how I’m doing.
They always Like what they see.
—If Jesus were a banker, he’d be happy
to pay off my mortgage.
—When I pass John the Baptist in his big rig
somewhere near Golgotha (not that one;
the godforsaken town in eastern Nevada),
he always gives me a big howdy.
—Like Salome, I always dress for success.
—The stories in stained glass sing harmonies
for me.
—I never drive over the center line.
—My prayers ascend on a direct line
to the Expedited Prayer Center.
My personal service representative
is Edgar, amanuensis to the angel Gabriel.
—I got a note from the Archangel Michael
this morning, telling me the world
won’t end today.
—Buddha tells me sometimes he spends
whole mornings laughing till his belly quivers.