poem
Volume 32, Number 3

Irreversible

Returned from the war
Daddy never really
(I realize now, ten years later)
Smiled at us because
He was suffering. I don’t think he
Knew how much, even then,
We understood. I mean, none of us
Could have expressed that
It hurt. We just
Kept longing for love even though
His eyes were vacant. He
Never rejected us but
He was so passive
After a hard day’s work.
As we pulled off his rubber boots
And pulled him into the kitchen’s warmth
We could have cried
For who he was.
We would have accepted him
If only
We could have forgiven that sick, weak smile

We could have forgiven that sick, weak smile
If only
We would have accepted him
For who he was.
We could have cried
And pulled him into the kitchen’s warmth
As we pulled off his rubber boots
After a hard day’s work.
He was so passive
Never rejected us but
His eyes were vacant. He
Kept longing for love even though
It hurt. We just
Could have expressed that
We understood. I mean, none of us
Knew how much, even then,
He was suffering. I don’t think he
Smiled at us because
(I realize now, ten years later)
Daddy never really
Returned from the war


—Bethany Mootsey