Geeky Perspective: A Unique Pairing
So this one time, I went to Comic-Con—San Diego, mind you. After my eleventh Slave Leia (pale skin and plastic (metal) bikinis hiding that slight cheerleader chub) I started to lose my cool.
Have you really ever watched Star Wars, or do you just like swindling the geek culture out of its masturbatory fantasies? I mean, the SPARTAN girls talking to “Core tain uh,” the barely clothed Jaffa ladies holding upside-down staff-weapons, and the 36D chainmail-clad heroines who have never tossed a D20 in their lives…
It’s frakking disappointing.
Is it too much to ask/beg for a two-minute conversation with Felicia Day? I’d buy anything she was selling, and her boobs are merely half the size of those things; girl, just—just put them away, you’re not attractive with them hanging out like that. I so wanted to bring out Captain Hammer, but I left this gathering feeling less like “I am a Jedi, like my father before me,” and more like “Leia’s my sister!” The kind of sister who marks up your graphic novels and calls you a loser for watching The Fifth Element.
*sigh* Draw sword. Roll initiative.
So this one time, I worked at Comic-Con—San Diego, mind you. I was mind-groped and gaze-stripped by lads too fat to WOW me or too lanky to roll with my punches, and I started to lose it.
Have you really never found an attractive woman with dice to match your own? Am I just a masturbatory fantasy? Look, just because your shirt says “Bazinga!” doesn’t mean you can explain the Lorentz factor in special relativity, nor does a plastic lightsaber a Jedi make. And no, you’re definitely not the Doctor…
It’s frelling disappointing.
Is it too much to ask/beg for a two-minute conversation with Nathan Fillion? Ooo, or maybe Michael Shanks, Ben Browder, and Jaime Bamber together for a nice dinner and some wine … and stuff. At least a break from the creeps. I so wanted to find some nice Dr. Horrible, but I left this gathering feeling less like “we need to get the hell out of here and we need to start having babies!” and more like “I’m coming for all of you!” Well, at least I can go home and watch The Fifth Element.
*sigh* Draw sword. Cleave.