Volume 34, Number 3

Corporate Life

We’re here for an accounting, to spread
out the spread sheets to see how each unit
performs, to compare one to another, to spot
where clogs in the system might be found.
We’ll deal with deficiencies, find alternatives.
We must eliminate all costly duplication
within and across departments. This audit
will help us determine replacement options
to increase quality outcomes. Bottom line,
based upon our assessment index, those who
failed to meet our standards will no longer
be a part of our team. Incoming personnel
will be informed that productivity targets
have been increased. Some continuing units
have already been notified. As you know,
we’re only as strong as our impact numbers.
Our accountability metrics will tell us how
to respond to the needs of our university.

—Ronald J. Pelias