Back Page of the Free Weekly Newspaper, Englewood, Colorado, May 8, 2005
Zippy the Pinhead leers at Zerbeena
(yellow-and-orange spotted muumuu—Fab!)
Xenon for your clear glass grow-lamps. FAC
with live music from Dennis and
Vera, “Denver's Best Covers of Capt. and Tenille!”
“‘Uncle’ seeks friendly ‘Aunt’”—the subject of
this week's featured personal ad. Drag/
Stag/or PFLAG night at “The Church.”
Rental property: cat-friendly, Hawaii,
quiet street, fresh eggs and OJ
placed by your door, nearby dock.
Old tennis shoes and mousepads? Landfill
no more! (We recycle ‘em!)
Mixed-breed puppies, blue and brown,
long-tailed, short legs. Pro
kayaking lessons. “It's time to stop
joking around! U.S. out of Iraq!”
Itching, chafing? Stop wearing underwear!
Hyperventilate your way to stock-market riches.
Gecko feed—$8.99 a pound. Thought
forming above Zippy's muumuu:
“Extra maple syrup—Zow!” (POV
directed through the glass counter from below,
creates the illusion of sex,
bacon, pancakes, and pinheadese simultaneously
above the donuts. Ad for live jazz.