Volume 26, Number 3

Arbitrary Lines

The prank became a felony
when the Chilean flamingo
was determined to be worth $2,000.

More than $500
would have been enough
if $ is what counts.

Allegedly, The Pledge went rogue
in his decision to capture the flamingo
rather than take a selfie with a swan.

It gets better for a second
if you believe the frat boys
told him to return the flamingo straightaway.

It gets worse learning the captured
flamingo was euthanized due to injuries
after The Pledge left the bird on a bike trail.

It gets maddening when further investigation determines
another flamingo died due to severe internal damage
sustained trying to protect his mate.

—Mark Danowsky