Volume 34, Number 4


The Russians successfully
animated that baby mammoth
in 1982, after all
And they only tell us now
that they have a whole safari
park of them
Come kill them now we’ve resurrected them,
for five hundred million pounds per head
—have a photo and the trophy
mounted on your wall!
(Kill an infant and that’s 1.5bn
for obvious reasons, idiot.)
Modern science has undone all the wrong
that we’ve done
as if it never happened,
which is a relief, phew.
We’ll bring back the sabretooth
and your ancestors
(okay, maybe not yours)
and Jesus—which is surely a good idea
to explain, and have another chance
and Adam, maybe Eve, to get it right
this time
Cos we’ve learnt our lessons
and are surely better than we were
or are.

—A J Dalton