Volume 26, Number 1


David Letterman interviews a man who
says that there's a portion of ocean
covered with a mass of garbage
the size of Texas

the exchange goes as it would if Letterman were
discussing healthcare with
a Republican senator

the problem is presented with a bleak outlook
but Letterman turns it around, says that
now we know there's a problem, we can
go fix it

according to this man though, we are a nation that
reacts to crisis, and since there is no crisis
yet, nothing is being done

cue the indignant reaction by Letterman
and he presses the man for
why not

a big open container of sand and various
garbage is brought onstage and
sifted through and

we are told that this sand is really
decomposed plastic skimmed off
the surface of the ocean

but the man has already said that the stuff
can't be skimmed off, well Letterman says
here it is, we're holding it in our hands
it's been done

of course, it can't be done on a larger scale,
we are told, and before Letterman can ask
why not, our attention is diverted to
pictures of decimated condors,

cigarette lighters and
candy wrappers
regurgitated to the baby condors
for food

I keep waiting for The Late Show to
flash an 800-number across the screen
for one to call and make
a donation, but

one never comes and when the interview's
over, I turn off the set and go
to bed.

I plan to look it up online,

but in the morning I've forgotten
all about it.

—Erik Tate